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If Monkeys Were Dentists

Have you ever felt ridiculous attempting to make small talk while someone sticks their hand into your mouth? Have you ever noticed that the chairside conversation in dental offices always seems to turn to travel? This great video, from the BBC Talking Animals series, shows just that.

In the video, one monkey reclines on a tree branch, while another monkey pries his jaws apart. “If you’d just like to open wide, sir.”

The recumbent monkey answers as he might be expected to, considering he’s got a finger down his throat. “Mmph.”

The monkey dentist proceeds to make light conversation. “Going anywhere nice for the holidays?”

The helpless patient grunts a response, only to be scolded by the dentist. “Don’t try to talk when my hands are in your mouth.”

The monkey dentist then tells his captive audience that he and his wife are planning a trip to the local zoo, where his wife has relatives.

Next question for the patient: “Do you have kids?” Before the patient can answer, the monkey dentist explains that he sees a filling in a back tooth.

It seems this monkey is interested in preventative dentistry. The presence of a filling, presumably necessitated by tooth decay, prompts the dentist to ask his patient about his eating habits: “Is it mainly bananas that you eat?”

The monkey then switches into hygienist mode, engaging in his version of teeth cleaning. He picks a food particle out of the mouth of his patient—and puts it into his own mouth. “I think I’ll take a little taste. It’s not bad actually.”

The dentist then checks his patient for halitosis, leaning in to get a good whiff. But the smell knocks him out, so he too ends up reclining on the tree branch.